Eurobloat #0092 • December 2017
December gave us a European Monetary Fund nobody voted for, a defence pact dressed up as peace, the nuclear option fired at Warsaw, and a Parliament solemnly debating the chemistry of kebabs.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat
A monthly, sceptical look at what the European Union got up to last month. The promised paradise that never quite arrives, told one directive, regulation, and ruling at a time.
192 posts
Eurobloat #0091 • November 2017
The month Brussels licensed weedkiller by accident, handed out two of London's agencies on a coin toss, signed twenty fresh social commandments and launched a defence union, all while lecturing Poland on the rule of law.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0090 • October 2017
The month Brussels gave itself a prosecutor, voted to read your messages, dragged Ireland to court for charging too little tax, and announced an agenda for a more united, stronger and more democratic Europe nobody had asked for.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0089 • September 2017
The month Brussels told two member states they had no right to refuse migrants, and Jean-Claude Juncker celebrated by demanding a single president, a common currency for everyone and rather more Europe all round.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0088 • August 2017
The month Brussels paid Libyan militias to do the border work it refuses to do itself, threatened Washington to protect Russian gas, and decided your vacuum cleaner was the real menace.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0087 • July 2017
The month Brussels graded Poland for the third time, drew up its own tax register, started dreaming of a eurozone finance minister, and paid the Libyan coastguard to do the border control it forbids itself.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0086 • June 2017
The month Brussels fined a search engine the price of a small navy, drew up plans for an EU finance minister and an EU defence chequebook, and abolished a roaming charge it had spent a decade legislating into existence.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0085 • May 2017
The month Brussels sketched a euro finance minister with his own taxes, fined Facebook for the crime of changing its mind, and graded twenty-seven governments on their homework.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0084 • April 2017
April 2017, in which Brussels triggered twenty new social rights, told fathers exactly how to take their leave, and lectured Hungary on freedom while drawing red lines around Britain for daring to leave.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0083 • March 2017
The month Brussels turned sixty, drew up five maps to a place nobody asked to go, and watched Britain post the letter that asks for directions out.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0082 • February 2017
The month Brussels invented legal personhood for robots, drew up plans for an EU finance minister and a eurozone treasury, and paid Libyan militias to keep the boats away. A vintage February.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0081 • January 2017
Brussels rang in the new year by drafting rules to read your WhatsApp, inventing a plastic card so plumbers may cross borders, and ordering members to ask permission before passing their own laws.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0080 • December 2016
The month Brussels found a clever legal trick to override a Dutch referendum, scolded Poland, blessed a defence fund and wrote the small print that quietly capped its own free roaming promise.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0079 • November 2016
The month Brussels appointed itself a Ministry of Truth, unveiled an EU army fund and a federal energy rulebook, demanded a permit before you board a plane, and lectured the eurozone to spend more it does not have.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0078 • October 2016
The month a Belgian region of three and a half million people halted a continental trade pact, while Brussels relaunched its dream of taxing companies itself, fast-tracked a treaty before its own members had ratified it, and offered teenagers free train tickets to feel European.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0077 • September 2016
The month Brussels answered Brexit by demanding more Europe: a defence fund, an EU army headquarters, free wifi, a link tax, and a roaming cap so stupid that Juncker had to bin it himself within days.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0076 • August 2016
The month Brussels billed one company for a country's entire tax policy, begged Erdogan not to open the gates, and quietly decided how many days your phone may leave home.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0075 • July 2016
The month Brussels declined to fine Spain and Portugal but reserved the right to confiscate their structural funds, blessed a fresh data deal with Washington, and discovered it had lost a referendum it still cannot mention by name.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0074 • June 2016
The month a free people voted to leave, Brussels handed billions to African strongmen to police its borders, and the ECB started printing money to buy company debt. June 2016 was the EU at its most candid.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0073 • May 2016
The month Brussels priced a refugee at 250,000 euros, ordered Netflix to carry more European films, and explained to Poland how to run its own courts.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0072 • April 2016
The month Brussels passed a continent-sized data regime, voted to file every air passenger, deported Pakistanis to Turkey to mend a bargain it should never have struck, and graded Poland's homework.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0071 • March 2016
The month Brussels paid an unsavoury regime to do the border control it would not do itself, told tobacco firms to get lost, and discovered to its horror that shops in different countries charge different prices.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0070 • February 2016
The month Brussels handed Britain a legally binding scrap of paper, agreed to ship Europeans' data to America, and let carmakers keep poisoning the air on a 323-vote whim.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0069 • January 2016
The month Brussels appointed itself headmaster of Poland, eyed a fresh corporate tax it could call its own, and watched the borderless dream dissolve into passport queues across the Oresund.
Eurobloat
Eurobloat #0068 • December 2015
The month Brussels answered a border crisis by proposing to seize the borders, agreed to log every air passenger for five years, and flew to Paris to congratulate itself.
Eurobloat